After feeling rejected by religious friends, Hadyn Sennit says that his four year pursuit of those desires left him dry of the love he was hoping for.
“I acted on my attractions in anger at God, at my earthly and spiritual fathers, and the ineptitude of the church,” Haydn shares openly.
“I was irate that, at church, many seemed unable to impart God’s grace into my aching and over-burdened heart.”
As he acted on the same-sex desires he had since his teens, Haydn noticed that few were gaining the fulfilment they hoped for.
“The homosexual world was full of anonymous, casual sex,” Haydn recalls. “None of my gay friends had ever found a partner long-term, even though they wanted to believe they could.”
Many who attended church told Haydn that he only had to ask God for forgiveness, which made God’s approval seem cheap and dispensable to him.
However, as he pursued unsatisfying hook-ups, Hayden kept on reading the Bible until he found what he was searching for.
“I did so many shameful things that I thought God could never forgive me, but in all of it God was faithful and showed me that I did not have to sin.”
He read in the second chapter of Titus that salvation by faith in Jesus Christ “teaches us to say ‘no’ to worldly passions… and live self-controlled, upright godly lives” and that Jesus sacrificed His life “to redeem us from all wickedness.”
In a song of King David, who committed adultery, Haydn read in Psalm 40, “God heard my cry… lifted me out of the slimy pit… He set my feet on a rock”. And, better still, “Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord (God) who does not look to the proud [or] to those who turn aside to false gods.”
In other parts of the Bible, Haydn says that God showed him the real root of his problem.
“I was digging for water in my own broken leaky well, when God is the ‘living water’, according to Jeremiah chapter 2.”
“I was digging for water in my own broken leaky well”
After four lonely years Haydn abandoned his homosexual lifestyle when he concluded that God’s perfect and pure love was the most satisfying.
“What stopped me sleeping around was the knowledge that God loved me so much that He sent Jesus to die in my place, for my sins, and that a God-honouring life was a much better way.
“God showed me that all of the hopes I had in having sex with men were about trying to find a substitute for my earthly father, but that He would be that heavenly Father instead.”
Following his decision to surrender control of his life to Jesus, Haydn began attending a kind pastor’s church, where he says God provided him with “safe, well-grounded people who shared their hearts with me and, years later, a wife and two beautiful daughters.”
Following theological training, Haydn now leads a small church in New South Wales and still vigilantly receives regular Bible-based counselling, while praying that God would continue to heal the roots of his brokenness.
“God has shown me that same-sex attractions can die away, be ‘put to death’ as Colossians 3 says. And sin really can be resisted as God proclaims ‘freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners’ in Isaiah chapter 61, which Jesus affirmed again in Luke chapter 4.
“As the Holy Spirit changes my heart through God’s Word and I read helpful books like Sexual Healing by David Kyle Foster‘, my same-sex attractions are becoming both less frequent and less intense.”
Haydn concludes that, in his experience, honestly confessing his temptations to God has surprisingly resulted in a deeper revelation and understanding of God’s power and love.
“My struggles have become a gift when surrendered under the Lordship of Jesus. I am now enjoying my relationship with God more than ever before,” he concludes.
Original article here
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